Folds.


When I was younger

I had a weird walk with an estranged posture. People, my elder sister, would laugh at me, bully me. I wasn’t someone, someone one would love to see and appreciate.

I folded.

I grew up a bit.
Puberty hit.

I had a storm of emotions rushed to me like 1000 gigabytes every second, and I couldn’t process every byte of it or every bite it took of me.

I folded.

The reckless ride of emotions didn’t seem to end and with a strangled childhood I was made to think by myself, that I have to be the better person than this. The one who is noticed, appreciated, and loved.
I folded.

I became the better daughter, the better friend, the better half, the better lover, the better student, the better worse, the better good, the better light and also the better dark.
I folded.

More than I could focus on myself, I focused on the image of myself that was being created. With me shrinking, maybe easier for someone to make such a small place for me to keep, I ignored how much holes in the edges of my paper began to widen.
I folded.

In the morning runs
I folded.

In the afternoon sighs

I folded.

In the evening sunsets

I folded.

In the dark nights

I folded.

In the wrinkles of my laugh
I folded.

In the dryness of my tears

I folded.

In the phobic mirrors

I folded.

In the stretched marks on my body

I folded.

In the scars opened anew in my mind

I folded.

In the rush of my heart pumping blood

I folded.

In every cell of me dying

I folded.

In every memory of past

I folded.

In every hope of future

I folded.

In the lying carcasses of my parts

I folded.

From head to toe, heart to mind

I folded.

Pen came to my rescue
Words were my life guard

Book-the bridge I climbed

With every fold I opened in time

The paper had those marks like a soul being haunted by demons, scratched and used.

The marks would never go but the paper was open now.

In becoming me again,

Now the paper I wrote on 

I folded.

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6 thoughts on “Folds.

  1. If folding means learning then we all do learn whether we take it in is another thing? I have learned that every ten years we change, what we liked in the 20’s we don’t at 60’s now I find that weird. I remember how I went to a certain movie three times now I just could not be bothered it would bore me. Even tastes change food and drink, TV everything. Relationships change too when it comes to friends. Yet being married young we travel that path together and understand our strange new ways.

    Liked by 1 person

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